Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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