Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
