Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
no you cant smoke seaweed
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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