Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
