She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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