The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
