I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
