garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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