what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
