Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
