I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
