We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
did you just send me my own nude
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
