my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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