you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
