I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Randomize
