Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
