Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
