yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
