so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
