You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
