Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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