As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
