idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
