What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
