Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
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