dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
