There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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