I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
It was confusing and full of hummus
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
