hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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