4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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