I wannas sexs uuuuu
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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