I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
