Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
