there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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