Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
