im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
