Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i was born a porn star she said
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
