I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
