I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
