Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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