lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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