somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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