these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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