She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
