bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
