I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
