The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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