The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
