idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
