Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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