fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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