I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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