He disabled his match.com account in front of me
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
