I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize
