Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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