You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
